(Hum along to yourself to the tune of "Puff the Magic Dragon")
Explodey the Floundering Whay- ale, Lives in the Sea
And went aground in the Aussie Waves, in the windward and the lee
He can’t swim away at all, and can’t stay upon the land
So everyone down under came to stand upon the sand
Explodey the Floundering Whay-ale, listing to and fro
Veterinarians got in a boat, and then began to row.
They looked at his tail, they looked at the middle too
Then they looked at his big whaley head and decided what to do
They called for plastic explosives, called for some hand grenades
Called for lethal munitions and called for a cannonade
Then they changed their minds, and called for this instead
They put a bomb right near his brain so they could blow up his head
Oh, Explodey the Floundering Whay-ale, soon to be without a snout
Asked the children on the sand to laugh and play, and never again to pout
“They are coming to blow up my bray-ain, and really, that is that,
You should all smile and think of me when you feed my blubber to your cat!”
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Children's Happy Tune
Posted by TO at 9/30/2008 08:56:00 AM 0 comments
Why do we need an AFRICOM?
Even if it is causing "suspicions" among Africans? Um, could it be because China is trying to enslave the place and we want to stop it? Nah, it is probably because George Bush is racist.
Posted by TO at 9/30/2008 07:35:00 AM 0 comments
Et tu, National Review?
Parker's suggestion that Palin should resign for the good of her party was just stupid. I read it as something a RINO would write in the hopes that McCain would do something sensible and pick Lieberman so that when the Republicans lose, the Dems would be more kindly disposed towards us. I am sure she got a ton of congratulatory emails from the Kos Kids and Obama for President.
I sure Ponnuru wrote his post blaming Republicans (who, incidentally, stood behind him during his "Party of Death" days) in order to come in out of the cold with his Dem pals. Ditto on the emails.
Both the article and the post were deeply disappointing, and the fact that you let them pass makes me wonder if you yourself aren't wishing you could come in out of the cold, given the reception your abortion views have among your journalist friends. It is bad enough that we are subject to Derb's libertarian claptrap, must all of you start "evolving" away from conservatism at once?
Posted by TO at 9/30/2008 07:31:00 AM 0 comments
Sunday, September 28, 2008
What is the biggest news out of China today?
A spacewalk made possible by purloined American technology? (Thanks, President Clinton!) Or the Chinese food industry once again poisoning children?
Answer: Poisonous food. The Chinese kill our dogs, now they kill their own children. Look for executions of milk plant managers soon, but don't expect anything to change.
Posted by TO at 9/28/2008 09:17:00 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Profoundly Sad Pictures
North Korea has so much potential, but they are in the grip of madmen and despots. Our children are going to ask us why we did nothing for their children.
Posted by TO at 9/23/2008 08:52:00 AM 0 comments
Monday, September 22, 2008
The Czabe and TO vs Olbermann
People are always asking me, "TO, why don't you watch 'Football Night in America' with us?" To which I always answer: "No f-ing way. I don't watch anything with Olbermann in it."
Lately, Steve Czaban, the great sports commentator, now heard five days a week on XM Channel 142 6-9am, has been asking if anyone avoids 'Football Night in America' like he does because of Olbermann? The answer, I know I am not the only one. That guy hates the military and hates anyone who does not agree with him. Why would I want to contibute, even in a small way, by watching a commercial television with him on it? I would rather boycott anything he is on, than view one advertisement, the purchase of which goes to pay his salary. The sooner he is off the air and no longer undermining America with his propaganda, the better.
Posted by TO at 9/22/2008 06:32:00 AM 0 comments
Madison Ave Real Estate Tough Guy Takes on Palin
Emile Leplattenier, aka "The Road", fresh off his triumphant victory over etoys.com, takes on Jim Treacher by emailing his searing take-down of Sarah Palin which he cross-posted in the comments section of a hippie radio station blog. Too bad art school, a foppish name and a Madison Ave real estate job still don't guarantee that you have enough brains or balls to accurately criticize a war hero or a middle class mom who managed to get herself elected governor.
Posted by TO at 9/22/2008 05:01:00 AM 0 comments
Friday, September 19, 2008
Listening to Laura Ingraham is not good for my blood pressure
Laura, Geez, stop beating up on McCain on economics. He said the fundamentals of the economy are strong, and you disagreed and criticized him. He now says that financiers need adult supervision and he is going to give it to them, and you criticize him. Meanwhile, his proposals have been resoundingly approved by Wall Street and have caused the value of your investments to go up, something that you said you were sweating. You should thank John McCain rather that beat up on him.
You sound like an ignorant Pelosi-style harpy. Stop talking about things that are out of your depth, and go back to blathering about pop music, and your pals who are Dems and your dog. You are good at that stuff
Posted by TO at 9/19/2008 11:32:00 PM 0 comments
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Dem Governors Against Prosperity but Still Firmly Anti-Bush!
Listening to Sarah Palin talk about the program in Alaska that returns oil royalties to the citizen in the form of a yearly check, it seemed to me that would be the perfect argument for opening drilling off the coasts of the US. States would receive royalties for the oil drilling in their coastal waters, and that money could be returned to the people! Although, who am I kidding? If New Jersey suddenly started getting big checks from the oil companies for royalties, Corzine would blow it on some stupid government program. Ditto Tim Kaine in Virginia. But it seems that the prospect of a big windfall from the oil companies to coastal states should be considered if they were serious about balancing budgets, reducing the cost of gasoline and giving people a tax break.
Further, you would think these states’ governors would be interested in huge number of high paying jobs that drilling would bring AND the taxes that they would pay into state accounts. But no, Bush wants drilling, so it must be bad. All that other stuff, lower taxes, more jobs, more solvency in state budgets, we don’t want that if it means Bush is right.
Stupid.
Posted by TO at 9/18/2008 10:41:00 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Barack's Terrorist Buddy Has a Ring Made From McCain's Downed Plane?
This post got me to thinking: John McCain's plane was shot down over Vietnam, and the wreckage would have been particularly symbolic to the Vietnamese since McCain was the son of CINCPAC. A ring made of that wreckage was just the kind of thing the Vietnamese would have presented to traitors like Ayers and Dohrn. Wouldn't it be ironic that the first hand Obama shook after declaring he was running for the presidency from Ayers' living room had a ring on it made from a relic of McCain's plane?
Posted by TO at 9/17/2008 07:58:00 AM 0 comments
Laura Ingraham ticks me off, again
She send me an email in which she said this: "Brooks's main argument against Palin is that she lacks the type of experience and historical understanding that led President Bush to a 26 percent approval rating in his final months in office."
So I sent her an email back:
Well, I take issue with your characterization that Bush is a poor president because he has a 26% approval rating. This analysis is on par with your shallow, vapid observations about which movies or songs are good based on the box office receipts or number of downloads. Pres Bush is unpopular because he refuses to accomodate every shifting political peccadillo of an electorate that gets its day to day cues about what is popular from late night comic monologues. For someone who purports to be so true to her conservative ideals, you put a lot of stock in the approval ratings of a great man and president that have been relelentlessly driven down by the attacks from entertainment and news media elites.
I am sure you and your pals in the gym and at the arugula salad bar and in line when you are picking up your daughter from private school there in DC all tut tut about President Bush and giggle over the latest line from Jon Stewart, but my fellow Marines and their families know courage and greatness when we see it, and he has it. Pity you neither see it nor have it, yourself.
Posted by TO at 9/17/2008 07:20:00 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Jim Rockford for VP, either ticket
Pros: California law and order tough guy bona fides; Korean War veteran; constant fishing shows environmental streak; already has really cool Secret Service code name given to him by Isaac Hayes: "Rockfish"
Cons: Seems to have a glass jaw during fist fights, so might mean he is not be able to stand up to intense media scrutiny; wardrobe of plaid jackets and wide, white belts might be alarming to casual TV viewers
Reaction to this controversial proposal:
Mxymaster: isn't he a felon? Which is how he knew Hayes' character (not to mention Angel). That could be sticky.
Also, Jim has a bad tendency to send cars over cliffs where they erupt in balls of fire. He always ejects to safety, but what about his secret service detail?
LarsWalker: I believe it was established in the pilot that Jim Rockford had received a full pardon for his felony conviction. I don't think a convicted felon could have obtained a Private Investigator's License either.
But Jim's not VP material. Can you imagine him taking the heat for the boss? Swallowing his own opinions to follow the Official Line? Spending a whole day doing serious work at a desk or in a conference room?
He became a PI to avoid that grind.
Bgbear: They could move Jim Rockford's trailer onto the West Lawn and rent out Number One Observatory Circle.
Also the Camaro would replace the VP's limo.
I also think Angel could get the word on the street about Osama Bin Laden.
Posted by TO at 9/16/2008 08:03:00 PM 0 comments
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Obama Slurs, Maligns Disabled Veteran
"Our economy wouldn't survive without the Internet, and cyber-security continues to represent one our most serious national security threats," [Obama spokesman Dan] Pfeiffer said. "It's extraordinary that someone [McCain] who wants to be our president and our commander in chief doesn't know how to send an e-mail."
Why in the world would someone not bother to learn to send emails? HAHAHAHAHA Probably because John "Geriatric" McCain is old and out of it, like Gramps in the old folks home drooling his pea soup. HAHAHAHAHAHA Loser!
But could it be that McCain never bothered to learn to send emails because he can't use a computer keyboard due to the injuries he suffered at the hands of his Vietnamese torturers? Yes.
People ask, "TO, why are you so agin B. Hussein?" Answer: Because of stuff like this.
Posted by TO at 9/13/2008 06:57:00 AM 0 comments
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Obama call Palin a "pig"
Disagree? Screw you, "macaca"-philes. And you, McCain house counters. And you, Trent Lott baiters. And you too, all you claiming McCain wants 100 more years of troops in Iraq.
Face it, the Wizard of Uhhhhhs, Uhhhbama blew it on this one. He should go back to reading off the teleprompter.
Posted by TO at 9/11/2008 10:26:00 PM 0 comments
Sunday, September 07, 2008
A Few More State Quarters
Tennessee Date Quarter Released: January 02, 2002 (16th) Statehood: June 01, 1796
This quarter is just sorry. The three musical instruments represent the three musical traditions of the three regions of Tennessee and the three stars ALSO represent the three regions. Ok, we get it, three regions and three types of music. But no banjo? Clearly, a disastrous oversight. In case you did not get the message about music and regions, Tennessee thoughtfully included a banner with the simple declarative: “Musical Heritage.” Tennessee has a musical heritage, how unique among the states.
Tennessee has an outstanding nickname already, “the Volunteer State.” Tennessee is home of heroic patriots since 1812 and the War for Texas Independence. Too bad the current residents could not have figured a better way to commemorate this heritage.
Ohio Date Quarter Released: March 11, 2002 (17th) Statehood: March 01, 1803
This quarter is very well done. Ohio is known for two things, being the birthplace of presidents and for being the home of the Wrights and of the more famous astronauts. Recognizing this heritage, Ohio chose to commemorate that, rather than make up something phony and contrived (see: Tennessee).
The design itself was really well done, featuring the state outline, which I really like and a couple of design elements: the Wright flyer and a lunar astronaut. While I think the astronaut is supposed to be Neil Armstrong, a proud Buckeye, the design is based on the famous picture, taken BY Neil Armstrong, of Buzz Aldrin of New Jersey. So, like North Carolina, Ohio puts a native of another state on their quarter.
Louisiana Date Quarter Released: May 20, 2002 (18th) Statehood: April 30, 1812
Sometimes, it is the little things that knock down an otherwise first rank quarter design. Louisiana’s entry was really promising outline of the state, within the outline of the United States. Special bonus points to the graphical depiction of history with the outline of the Louisiana Purchase included in the design. There is also a pelican standing off to the side, its feet in Mexico and its head in New Mexico. There is no problem with the pelican since it is the state bird and is actually featured on the state flag.
Where the design goes wrong is the incorporation of a trumpet stuck up in Canada with three musical notes being tootled out of it. The design has a theme: the history of Louisiana and an official symbol. The addition of the trumpet muddies the effect and clutters the design. Too bad, there was real potential here.
Posted by TO at 9/07/2008 02:27:00 AM 0 comments
Monday, September 01, 2008
Gotta love that naughty librarian vibe!
I have to agree with Mark Steyn, WOW. I am actually going to vote for McCain/Palin with relish.
What really did it for me is on this video. Check it out.
Posted by TO at 9/01/2008 10:39:00 PM 0 comments
Turns out, it wasn't lost at all, thanks to George W Bush and the Marines
The US is handing over control of Anbar province back to the Iraq government. Congratulations for the George Bush for his sound judgement and courage to stay the course with his surge and the the courageous Marines who did the dirty work that had to be done to save Anbar.
Let us not forget the author of the comment that "Anbar is lost" is Marine Colonel Pete Devlin. His assessment has to rank among the worst intelligence assessments of all times. You would think that such a manifest failure would hurt his career, but you would be wrong. I suspect that he will be promoted to General some day. Watch for it.
Posted by TO at 9/01/2008 10:02:00 PM 0 comments